The second common reaction when someone you love is depressed is to judge it.In other words, if your boyfriend is depressed, you may be patient for a while but then get to a point where you think, ‘Okay, now it’s time to get over it and pull it together.’ It’s true that there are things a person can do to remain functional when they feel depressed, but it’s often impossible for a depressed person to simply suck it up and feel happy.If your date or your partner is depressed, you’ll see: sad mood; a negative or hopeless outlook for the future; eating too much or too little; crying out of the blue; loss of or low energy; sleeping too much or too little; indecisiveness; and social isolation or withdrawal.For a bad depression phase, the average episode often lasts six to eight months.No matter how psychologically healthy – heck, perfect – you want to believe you are, there’s a little part of you that wants to be your partner’s hero in a relationship.When he falls into a slump, you want to believe that you have the magic to pull him out of it and make him happy.Yet anyone who has been in a relationship with someone who’s depressed knows how no hero exists who’s more powerful than depression.
If your girlfriend becomes depressed, for example, understand that something is happening in her brain on a chemical level that even she can’t totally control.
Asking yourself if there’s something you’ve done to make her feel that way, or whether she has lost interest in and excitement for you are all very rational, logical approaches – but there is nothing rational about depression.
It simply creeps in and the individual who feels depressed needs to 1) do what they can to try to keep it under control (through exercise, etc.), and 2) wait it out, because the heaviness of the depression phase usually always dissipates sooner or later.
I’m here to tell you what to do if this kind of juggernaut strikes your relationship.
The Signs of Depression and Common Reactions First, let’s cover the signs.
Don’t judge a person’s depression because the onset is usually beyond a person’s control, and making them feel bad for being depressed is only going to make their depression worse.