To do this, partners need to allow each other the space to be themselves and to have their experiences without trying to control the outcome or think that you are responsible for their lives and reaction.
It’s hard work and takes practice, but the rewards are well worth the effort.
They also made clear that this only works if you are giving 90%. I definitely think about my spouse’s needs and feelings the majority of the time and try to be compromising.
If you’re looking for a little guidance when it comes to love, you’ve come to the right place.
The Cheat Sheet spoke with eight top relationship experts to get some of their best advice. The best relationship advice I’ve ever gotten, and that I give, is “easy does it.” Too often we get caught up in fear-based needs to control our partner.
And even when you do find the right one, you’ll still have your work cut out for you as you make an effort to maintain your relationship.
Finding the right person to settle down with can often feel like a very frustrating game of chance.
The classic struggle of all relationships is finding the right calculus in the togetherness-and-autonomy equation.Typically, when a relationship is under stress, one of the partners asks for physical space to break the tension. The best way to incorporate space is by being proactive and providing emotional rather than physical space.My parents advised what they did in their own marriage: “both of you always think about giving 90% to your partner and you both will be very happy.” They meant it’s so important to think about how your partner is feeling, to stand in their shoes, to be giving and compromising, and emotionally generous.That 10% is for the understanding that sometimes it’s also OK to be a bit selfish, to place your needs first, or stand firm on something.It destroys the quality of our lives and over time, the relationship.
This advice impacted the way I approach romantic relationships in that I allowed for a lot more space, which in turn allowed for less reactivity, more peace, happiness, and respect.